Are You Setting Healthy Boundaries?
Three weeks ago, my husband and I decided to break down our home office and turn it into our little girl’s room. We almost did it in the middle of the night, but decided to wait until morning. Yes, it was one of those nights.
I have been so reluctant to place boundaries between me and my daughter when it comes to sleeping and nursing (I’m a hippie at heart). But I realized I was becoming resentful. And freaking exhausted. And no one gets the Mother Of The Year award for ignoring her own needs. So we met with our (amazing) lactation specialist and formed a plan.
Now this mom gets 7 whole hours of uninterrupted time to unwind, hang out with my husband, and sleep. Did I mention sleep? It’s pure heaven. And Dad got a promotion to primary caregiver–at least from 8pm to 3am.
This new arrangement has changed everything. Our daughter sleeps more soundly for longer stretches, I am more rested and therefore a thousand times more pleasant to be around, my husband and I get along better (more rest + no resentment = good times!), and now we have a routine that works.
And best of all, I still get to co-sleep and nurse my daughter after 3am, so nobody feels deprived. Everyone’s needs are balanced. All because we sought out healthy boundaries.
Which got me thinking about other healthy boundaries, and how awesome they are. Especially around this time of year when it’s easy to over indulge or burn yourself out.
For me, a healthy boundary that needs constant tending to is information overload to my brain. I love to learn, I love to connect with people, I love my business.
With a healthy boundary in place, it looks like this:
Investing in myself, taking courses that are truly what I need to take my business, health, or personal development to the next level. Connecting with those I love most, who fill me up and support me. Working during the day, and shuttin’ her down at 5pm sharp to spend the evening with my family.
With that boundary less healthy or missing, it looks like this:
I become obsessed with learning one more thing before I can teach, or launch a program, or be a leader. I lose confidence in my own message and my areas of expertise. I spend waaaaaaay too much time on Facebook, and I work around the clock until I hit a wall and become a complete zombie.
Can you relate?
I’ve realized that boundaries exist in relationships: Your relationship to food, to your body, to other people, your mind, your job, and to your own spirituality.
For you, which of these relationships have a healthy or not-so-healthy boundary in place? Take a few minutes and write about boundaries for each category above.
For example, a healthy boundary in relationship to your body might be that you take time to rest before you get sick, whereas an unhealthy boundary could be that you push yourself and say yes to everything until your body forces you to take a week off, sick as a dog.
Please share any insights in the comments below. I would love to hear!
And for those of you who like before and after pictures (me!) here are some of our home office turned nursery. What do you think?
To taking good care of your body, mind and soul. 🙂